Today, well all week actually, I am in a bit of a spat with someone – they did something that really upset me, made me angry, that has consequences for me –I could go on, but I will spare you. In any case, I am still pretty upset about the whole situation…
I am writing about it here because I’d like to reflect on how my response to it today is so different than how I’d deal with this type of situation in the past. Previously I have not been known to do well with anger…… I have been reactive and difficult to be around. In fact, I’d do anything other than just feel the anger, so that I can move on to get life back on track – despite this irritating thing this other person did.
Through my work with focusing – I have learnt a new way to respond , to ground myself and the results this morning were remarkable.
This morning before leaving home, I was triggered again by an email I read. There I was fuming mad all over again!! I had been planning to ride my bike to my office – and I was suddenly was aware of an inner voice saying ‘ be careful – you’re ungrounded , it ‘ll be a mess!’. This voice knowing that I have a history of accidents happening when I’v e been ungrounded – and some of them have been pretty nasty over the years. It has been at my peril when I didn’t pay attention to this voice in the past!
Today though I heard an inner response ‘Hang on a minute, I want to ride my bike! – I just got it repaired yesterday and it’s no good just sitting in the shed’. I took another moment – and sat with these two voices, allowing them both to be there. Then I realised that I needed to ground myself and it would be fine! So I did just that, I took the moment to feel my whole body – to feel the ground beneath my feet , to feel the energy and to feel everything that was going on for me right there in the moment. I felt the energy pulsating through me, as I sent it down into the ground.
Quite quickly I felt gratitude, for my life and for this practice, even as the anger was still present – but I felt alive in it, in a totally new way. So I duly cycled to work, and even as I was cycling along I could feel the ground through my feet, through the pedals in fact – that was a bit of a weird experience I have to admit!!
I am glad to say I am now safely sitting in my office writing this blog!!
It never ceases to amaze me how the simple act of grounding and making space for everything thats there gives me more space and freedom in my life.